Unplug and Enjoy Life

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” 

-Ferris Bueller

I’m without question guilty of the following. Everything I’m about to vilify, I do. I’m well aware that I stink. But being aware that a problem exists is the first step in solving it. With that said…

Relaxation is becoming a lost art. Old people can sit on a stoop, sip a glass of iced tea and just, well, be. They don’t feel the need to Instagram their view from the porch. They don’t need to tweet, “This iced tea sucks a fat one! LoLz!” They don’t check in at “Jeb’s Porch.” They can just sit, decompress, think, reflect, relax. How many of us can do the same?

Let’s play a game. The next time you’re at a busy bar, look around. If you count more than 10 people on their phone, buy me a beer. If not, I’ll buy you five. I’ll win every time. Before smartphones existed, what did people do at bars and restaurants? Talk to each other more? Maybe borrow a quarter to go beep someone with 80085? At the goddamned beach, an area designated for relaxation, you’ll see a veritable sea of people on their phones. And by people, yes, I’m including my stupid self. Why? What sh*t is so important that we can’t leave our phones off while we’re at the beach? Call me crazy, but I suspect all beach-related phone activity is less checking for that life-altering email and more updating your Facebook status to say “At the beach!” or some derivative thereof. Smartphones make stupid people.

I’m not saying people should give up technology. That’s asinine. I f*cking love technology. I’m the modern man, damn it! But, like everything in life, moderation is the key. And I certainly don’t subscribe to the belief that people should stay off Facebook. Those who don’t at least acclimate themselves to Facebook to a small degree aren’t on some kind of intellectual plane that the rest of us are not. What they’re doing is consciously being left behind. Like it or not, someone resisting Facebook today is the equivalent of someone resisting email 20 years ago. How many letters do you currently write? Nowadays I can literally go weeks without even using a pen. It’s the inevitable evolution of society, for better or worse. I’m not against the use of technology. I’m against the overuse of it, because Facebook and its social media brethren distract us from real life.

Life is a series of moments, seamlessly strung together one by one. Nothing more, nothing less. And, sadly, once they happen, they’re gone forever. Life has no DVR. As much as I wish it were, this isn’t Saved By The Bell. We aren’t Zack Morris. We can’t freeze time, break the fourth wall and pontificate about why Lisa Turtle won’t blow Screech behind a dumpster at The Max. Trust me, I wish we could. Each day a ridiculously hot blonde girl longboards passed my apartment. You better believe if the possibility existed I would Zack Morris the f*ck out of those moments. But I can’t. So there she goes, rolling over my heart in the process. Time, much like the mysterious, buxom longboarder, moves on.

What I’m saying is, appreciate the moments in real time. Whenever we pause to tweet, Instagram or Facebook, we miss something. Live the moment, then reflect. Doing the opposite is like ordering a hamburger, telling everyone you know the hamburger will be amazing, then only eating the burger when it's cold and not as good. That, for my money, sucks. Also, now I’m hungry.

And like I said, I’m aware of my guilt. I, more than many of you, am guilty of everything I just wrote about. Some days my iPhone battery dies before lunch. Pathetic? Sure is. But I’m a work in progress. Lately I’ve been consciously trying to soak up the moments, one by one, as they happen. I’m also trying to learn how to properly relax. And if I do, I’ll try and tell you about it. With my mouth, not my thumbs.